Three Lessons I Learned from Hardships
Realities often blow us hard. Many things do not come as what we have expected. Turns out, we can not completely control the outcome of this world. For some extent, one’s welfare comes from the expense of another.
Hence, hardships are inevitable. Religion teachings teach us that hardships make us to be a better person. However, each of us may see problems and silver linings differently. These are things I can learn from what I have been through.
1.Expect less
After graduating from college, I was paid for a relatively small amount. As a college graduate, my salary was equal to high school graduates. In Indonesia, there is a standard imposed by government to set the minimum amount of worker’s salary. This is called People’s Minimum Wage/Upah Minimum Rakyat (UMR).
The standard is created by Labor Agency and approved by provincial Governor. Basic needs such as food and house rent are taken into account. However, this leaves no room for people to buy food and rent a house with better quality. In short, UMR only ensures people to meet their basic needs without considering the decency.
I worked at the office for six months. After quitting the job, I was failed being hired in several jobs. Being unemployed made me regret my late decision. At the time, I started to expect less on salary that I would get. Above all, I got to have a job first before thinking about salary offered.
However, this experience taught me to expect less. Two months after quitting my previous job, I got new job at a ministry office in Jakarta. I accepted the salary they offered without considering how small it was compared to the cost of living in Jakarta. Later I realized this job was my stepping stone to get a rather decent job. Now I am working as a vice manager in the nation’s central bank. Still, this mindset sticks with me even though my current office is known for its allowance abundance.
2. Looking for the Solution
My current manager is known for his temper. As a newcomer to the office, I often had no any knowledge about what I had to do or asking too much once he ordered me to do something. This is not good for him since it is implicitly urging him to do the research more.
As the time passed by, I learned that I should discern his order without asking it too much. To have a discussion with him about certain problem, I often look for information that would strengthen my argument. Moreover, not only tell him what the problem is and its source, I also come up with solution so he only has to decide whether my suggestion is doable or not.
Later I realized that my desire to stay longer in this job and to manage my relation with the colleagues urge me to become a more versatile person.
3. Seeing through others’ lens
At the time I was unemployed, it was hard for me to see my friends’ achievement. They shared it too often on their social media.
I promised to myself then that I would not post my happiness or achievement on social media.
Now, I can say I have better carrier and have done myself well. However, every time I am about to show people my achievement, I often ask to myself whether it would make my friends envy or not.
I know my social media account is my authority. But, it is not wrong being more altruist to also take into account other’s reaction. It is similar as helping people to not loathe themselves.
Since then, it is imperative for me to guess other’s reaction on my doings. Many writings in behavioral economics and experimental research already shift their paradigm to consider people’s reaction instead of assuming they are completely responding material gratification. Align to old yet powerful adage uttered by Confucius, roughly like this, “Never do anything you would not like if other people do it to you.”
The adage that you can draw lessons from anything and anywhere heavily depends on how you perceive the world. I will not say everyone should see silver lining like I did or everyone has same faculties to tackle obstacles in the way I do.
In the end, the adage I said lately is quite true. But, the way we do are varied. Hence, I can only say there is always a remedy for every problem.
